Have you seen my car keys love?

I must have put them down somewhere.

I've checked under the table,

I've looked under the chair.

They should be in the kitchen,

On their hook upon the wall,

Or in that little cupboard

Standing in the hall.

Have you seen my car keys love?

I must have put them down.

I'm really in a rush right now,

To make it into town.

There's a sale on I don't want to miss,

Of safety shoes at Lidl.

They really have some proper stuff,

In that aisle right in the middle.

Have you seen my car keys love?

How can they just disappear?

I put them where they're supposed to be,

They should be hung right here!

Do you know where I put the spares?

It's not like me to forget.

I have to get to Aldi,

For that 10 piece socket set.

Have you seen my car keys love?

I really must be on my way.

Jim and Frank are waiting for me

At the Morrison's café.

We always meet on Thursdays

To have a tasty meal.

I can use the points on my More card,

To get their breakfast deal.

Have you seen my car keys love?

This really is no joke!

If I don't find them pretty soon,

All my plans are up in smoke.

It's no good you just repeating

"Where did you have them last?"

If I knew that I wouldn't be searching,

I'd be out of here so fast.

Have you seen my car keys love?

I've looked everywhere I can think.

This is driving me round the bend!

My God I need a drink!

Oh No! I don't believe it,

I really need to give myself a rocket.

They've been here all of this time,

In my nylon car coat pocket.

Now where are my driving glasses??

Slip-on Shoes

These laces drive me mad.

Can't they see my back is bad.

To bend and reach is my main regret.

I think they've had their day.

I just have to find a way

to keep my poor, arthritic feet from getting wet.

Slip-on shoes

Slip-on shoes

The answer to

My footwear blues

With my feet so far away,

and getting further every day,

I have to find an answer to my woes.

No matter how I strain

I just cannot seem to gain ,

that extra inch to reach down to my toes.

Slip-on shoes

Slip-on shoes

The answer to

My footwear blues

I'd rather wear my slippers,

or even a pair of flippers,

than these pesky items that I have to tie.

I need to change them quick,

to a pair that does the trick,

before these laces make me want to cry.

Slip-on shoes

Slip-on shoes

The answer to

My footwear blues

My legs now feel like jelly,

Since I reverted to a welly.

These rubber things are causing me to sweat.

I think I have to choose

Some nice comfy slip-on shoes.

They truly are the best a man can get

Slip-on shoes

Slip-on shoes

The answer to

My footwear blues

Slip-on shoes

Slip-on shoes

The answer to

My footwear blues